I knew it! I KNEW it!

Dear USA,

Back when you started running the first ads for your new summer show Covert Affairs I raised one perfectly waxed eyebrow (I am licensed, you know) and judged you. With a roster that includes Psych, Burn Notice, Royal Pains and White Collar, you've raised the bar on awesome so high that you're due for a fail and based on those first ads Covert Affairs certainly looked like it would fit the bill. I had no interest in watching.

Then, much to my non-surprise, the ads started changing. They got less silly and more actiony. They showed off other characters besides That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago and That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy. We saw Peter Gallagher, aka The EyeBrows and Christopher Gorham who must have done something cool once because ew.com follows him on Twitter. You realized that you'd made That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago look so woefully inept in the first ads nobody would ever believe the CIA would hire her. Now she's all ass-kicky and even somewhat sexy - which is difficult for someone with a mildly horsey face. All in all, USA, you managed to make me doubt my initial assessment. I was ready to give your show a shot.

Then I read this...The Futon's First Look: Covert Affairs.

In a nutshell, I WAS RIGHT! "Covert Affairs" is by far the weakest pilot to come from USA in recent memory. Ha, USA! Ha! You tried to pull the wool over my eyes, but I have 20/20 vision! I am not so easily fooled by Horsey Faced Girl's tight skirts or That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy's nekkidness in the shower scene. My eyebrows are not giant caterpillars that have taken over my face and obscure my eyesight ala Sandy Cohen! I see right through you! You're walking that fine line between breakout hit and epic fail.

Now, USA, I want to move on from this disconcerting moment in our relationship. I am willing to give your show a chance. After all, you are still you and put out the awesome dramedy like FX puts out the awesome violence (Woot, Justified and SOA!), so perhaps on our second date, Covert Affairs, will not wear white after Labor Day, will remember to use the salad fork and pass the salt and pepper together. I'm still going to ask Warehouse 13, Pretty Little Liars and reruns of 90210 to be on standby for emergency date rescuing, but I will be gracious.

After all, I'm know I'm not going to get rid of this show. You're putting it on after White Collar. You know as well as I do that Lazy Americans would rather sit through crap than shift their couch potato butts far enough to dig the remote from between the cushions and change the channel.

But I'm on to you!

Sincerely,

Nerd 1...or 2.