Ya know...I'm getting reallll tired of this whole "3D is the bananas...don't you want to see everything in 3D? Don't you? Don't you?! DON'T YOU?!"
No...no I don't.
Look...I know 3D is awesome when you watch some movies. I saw Avatar in 3D...it was great.
Granted...I saw it in 2D before--and what's with this bullshit calling it 2D? When did we start calling it 2D? I remember a time when the announcer would just say...'Coming to you in blah blah blah year/month/tomorrow'...now it's all 'Coming to you in 3D...and 2D for you losers who don't want to pay the needlessly outrageous amount to see a movie in 3D!' Granted, I added that losers part...but that's because I can read subtext. And there's definitely subtext in that statement, the bastards. I know what they think of us 2D-watching people. They think we're cheap. And you know what? I am. You know why? Because I remember when a movie in "2D" was just called a goddamn movie. And yes, that statement of "I remember when..." makes it sound like I was born in 1844...but I wasn't...and seriously...it was like, 4 months ago. Seriously--but I didn't get anything super special out of seeing it again in 3D.
I didn't bother to see Clash of the Titans in 3D...mainly because I heard it sucked and they completely changed the Greek myth for some stupid reason that made no sense...but also...b/c I heard the 3D sucked and made everyone look mushy.
I saw The Last Airbender in 3D...and literally got nothing out of it...and I enjoyed the movie.
I think I saw My Bloody Valentine in 3D...and that's because the other Nerd dragged me...but besides scythes jumping out at my face and fake blood splattering on the screen...*shrug* Whatever.
And you know what...fine. I like movies...and I, like the rest of my generation, wants the biggest and bestest of everything. And if that's seeing a 3D movie every once and awhile...fine. Step Up 3D was the shizznit. So, yeah, I'll shell out the hugely overrated amounts of money to see a movie like that in the theater. Especially if they are only offering it in 3D (Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader...I'm looking disgustedly at you).
I draw the line, however...at this notion that I want a 3D television in my home. That's right...I said "television"...because I'm of the generation that didn't abbreviate everything (Of course, spelling out "television" takes huge amounts of time, so I'm going to say TV from now on).
I know they are marketing 3D TV's as "the next wave in home theater"...but really? Does one really need to feel like they are right there when watching a sports game on TV? If one wanted to be right there at said sports game...wouldn't one just shell out the money to actually...I don't know...be there at said sports game? Does one really need to feel as if, if they were just a little bit closer, said sports figure could sweat on them?
Other people's sweat is gross, folks.
After one sees a 3D movie in the theater, and you decide that it's worth shelling out the rediculous amount of money to see it on Blu-Ray (don't even get me started on Blu-Ray. If I wanted to see the pores in the stars face...they wouldn't need to wear makeup, now would they? And if I wanted to see the 1000th person off to the right clear as if he were standing in the front...he'd be called the protagonist of the film, now wouldn't he?)...does one really feel the overwhelming desire to go home, put on a rediculous pair of glasses that flatter absolutely no one, just to see a movie in 3D that one has already seen so they can feel like they are right there in the movie?
Did one feel like they were right there in the movie when they saw it in the theater? If no...why would you want to try to feel like that in your own home? If yes...why is one lowering oneself to buy it to watch on your dinky home TV?
You want to feel like you're right there...become an actor...and go act in a movie.
Its kind of like the Gene Wilder version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and the lickable wallpaper. Cool...for about 15 seconds...right before you roll your eyes and go...really? What's the use of that?
If I wanted something to taste like a snoggs-berry...I'd just go get a snoggs-berry...not something that's faking a snoggs-berry.
And why would one want to sit in the privacy of their own home, in front of their 60 inch TV, surround-sound home theater...lean back, put on a pair of tacky, ugly glasses, and pretend that they aren't Corey Hart while they watch a movie they've already seen?
I can't possibly be the only one who has no desire to invite a bunch of my closest friends over, hand them a pair of stupid 3D glasses, and say "See! That ball almost kinda flew out right at your face! It's like you're right there!".
I refuse to believe that I'm the only person who finds the whole idea rediculous.
Nerd .5
