One of the most thought provoking ideas I've ever heard came from Jurrasic Park. I don't remember the exact phrasing, but the gist is just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Two cases in point:
Just because as a state of the U.S. you can protect your borders doesn't mean you should pass a law that can only be enforced with racial profiling. I'm looking at you, Arizona.
On a lighter note, just because you can use a popular Top 40 hit during a badly made company video presentation, doesn't mean you should pick a song that is wildly inappropriate like Kings of Leon's Use Somebody. I mean seriously. An angsty love song for a corporate congratulatory luncheon? Not to mention the predominate lyric being 'use somebody' which I don't really think is the message they want to send in the insurance world. At least not publicly.
Talk about WTFery.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Curse you, Charlie St. Cloud.
Ya know...I've always prided myself on having a cold, dead, black, evil heart.
I laugh when people trip, fall, make fools of themselves when they think no one is looking...I laugh at things that most people would find INCREDIBLY politically incorrect. I find myself becoming less and less interested in the oil spill ravaging Louisiana (since, hell, we brought this on ourselves, and there's nothing I can do about it besides boycott BP--which I'm doing--and wait till this mess gets cleaned up. Sooner rather than later...but I have a feeling it'll be later), I roll my eyes when people start talking about their personal trajedies (right before I start looking for the nearest exit). I'm certainly no bleeding heart.
I hate with the passion of a dying sun any and all RomComs, any uplifting dramas where the underdog triumphs over The Big Bad Man. Granted, I'll watch the occasional romance (I was dragged to see The Notebook, and enjoyed it up until it became a movie about old people with alzheimers) but I don't particularly like them. I don't seek out movies that will make me feel anything but the rush that comes from seeing something explode violently.
Those are the movies that I want to see...those are the movies that I look forward to. Is there violence? Sign me up. Do tons of people die in horrific ways? I'm there. Are there explosions? Weee...can't wait!
Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a fan of horror films...there's a marked difference between violence and grotesquery. I don't watch horror films...they aren't how I like to take my violence.
And...I'll watch other movies. I'll rent them, buy them...whatever. But if I'm going to pay for a movie in the theater...it better be violent. Have a little romance thrown in...a little comedy...lots of action...but mostly? Violence. Plot not necessarily needed.
I like good, clean, fun explosive violence.
Soo...imagine my surprise when watching TV one day...I saw a trailer for the movie Charlie St. Cloud.
I was stunned....and there was some weird movement in my chest area.
I was sure it was either indigestion...or...possibly nausea.
This weird liquid started welling in my eyes.
I sniffled.
WTH?!
I realized with dawning horror...that I wanted to see this movie.
....
Obviously...something had gone horribly wrong...and I quickly went to Wiki to see if my subconscious had picked up some violence that my eyes hadn't seen.
Nothing. It's a movie about a guy coming to grips with losing his brother in a horrific car accident.
No violence. No explosions...just...a fucking character study?
Maybe it's the clever use of the song "Airplanes" from the trailer (I do so love that song), maybe it's b/c there's a hint of a supernatural element (I do so love the supernatural), maybe it's b/c Zac Efron had a bit part playing Simon Tam in Firefly (and I do so love Firefly)...I don't know.
But whatever it was...it made me want to see this movie.
My cold, dead, black heart...was actually moved by this trailer.
I was moved enough that I actually want to see this movie.
Charlie St. Cloud.
It's disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself...I can't believe it!
A 30 second TV spot with a song that I currently like and a kid that I can take or leave as the star, made me want to see some sappy, romance about a guy who lost his brother...but is still able to play baseball with him.
It's gross.
But I'm going to see it.
So...Curse you, Charlie St. Cloud.
Curse you all to hell.
Nerd .5
I laugh when people trip, fall, make fools of themselves when they think no one is looking...I laugh at things that most people would find INCREDIBLY politically incorrect. I find myself becoming less and less interested in the oil spill ravaging Louisiana (since, hell, we brought this on ourselves, and there's nothing I can do about it besides boycott BP--which I'm doing--and wait till this mess gets cleaned up. Sooner rather than later...but I have a feeling it'll be later), I roll my eyes when people start talking about their personal trajedies (right before I start looking for the nearest exit). I'm certainly no bleeding heart.
I hate with the passion of a dying sun any and all RomComs, any uplifting dramas where the underdog triumphs over The Big Bad Man. Granted, I'll watch the occasional romance (I was dragged to see The Notebook, and enjoyed it up until it became a movie about old people with alzheimers) but I don't particularly like them. I don't seek out movies that will make me feel anything but the rush that comes from seeing something explode violently.
Those are the movies that I want to see...those are the movies that I look forward to. Is there violence? Sign me up. Do tons of people die in horrific ways? I'm there. Are there explosions? Weee...can't wait!
Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a fan of horror films...there's a marked difference between violence and grotesquery. I don't watch horror films...they aren't how I like to take my violence.
And...I'll watch other movies. I'll rent them, buy them...whatever. But if I'm going to pay for a movie in the theater...it better be violent. Have a little romance thrown in...a little comedy...lots of action...but mostly? Violence. Plot not necessarily needed.
I like good, clean, fun explosive violence.
Soo...imagine my surprise when watching TV one day...I saw a trailer for the movie Charlie St. Cloud.
I was stunned....and there was some weird movement in my chest area.
I was sure it was either indigestion...or...possibly nausea.
This weird liquid started welling in my eyes.
I sniffled.
WTH?!
I realized with dawning horror...that I wanted to see this movie.
....
Obviously...something had gone horribly wrong...and I quickly went to Wiki to see if my subconscious had picked up some violence that my eyes hadn't seen.
Nothing. It's a movie about a guy coming to grips with losing his brother in a horrific car accident.
No violence. No explosions...just...a fucking character study?
Maybe it's the clever use of the song "Airplanes" from the trailer (I do so love that song), maybe it's b/c there's a hint of a supernatural element (I do so love the supernatural), maybe it's b/c Zac Efron had a bit part playing Simon Tam in Firefly (and I do so love Firefly)...I don't know.
But whatever it was...it made me want to see this movie.
My cold, dead, black heart...was actually moved by this trailer.
I was moved enough that I actually want to see this movie.
Charlie St. Cloud.
It's disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself...I can't believe it!
A 30 second TV spot with a song that I currently like and a kid that I can take or leave as the star, made me want to see some sappy, romance about a guy who lost his brother...but is still able to play baseball with him.
It's gross.
But I'm going to see it.
So...Curse you, Charlie St. Cloud.
Curse you all to hell.
Nerd .5
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I knew it! I KNEW it!
Dear USA,
Back when you started running the first ads for your new summer show Covert Affairs I raised one perfectly waxed eyebrow (I am licensed, you know) and judged you. With a roster that includes Psych, Burn Notice, Royal Pains and White Collar, you've raised the bar on awesome so high that you're due for a fail and based on those first ads Covert Affairs certainly looked like it would fit the bill. I had no interest in watching.
Then, much to my non-surprise, the ads started changing. They got less silly and more actiony. They showed off other characters besides That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago and That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy. We saw Peter Gallagher, aka The EyeBrows and Christopher Gorham who must have done something cool once because ew.com follows him on Twitter. You realized that you'd made That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago look so woefully inept in the first ads nobody would ever believe the CIA would hire her. Now she's all ass-kicky and even somewhat sexy - which is difficult for someone with a mildly horsey face. All in all, USA, you managed to make me doubt my initial assessment. I was ready to give your show a shot.
Then I read this...The Futon's First Look: Covert Affairs.
In a nutshell, I WAS RIGHT! "Covert Affairs" is by far the weakest pilot to come from USA in recent memory. Ha, USA! Ha! You tried to pull the wool over my eyes, but I have 20/20 vision! I am not so easily fooled by Horsey Faced Girl's tight skirts or That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy's nekkidness in the shower scene. My eyebrows are not giant caterpillars that have taken over my face and obscure my eyesight ala Sandy Cohen! I see right through you! You're walking that fine line between breakout hit and epic fail.
Now, USA, I want to move on from this disconcerting moment in our relationship. I am willing to give your show a chance. After all, you are still you and put out the awesome dramedy like FX puts out the awesome violence (Woot, Justified and SOA!), so perhaps on our second date, Covert Affairs, will not wear white after Labor Day, will remember to use the salad fork and pass the salt and pepper together. I'm still going to ask Warehouse 13, Pretty Little Liars and reruns of 90210 to be on standby for emergency date rescuing, but I will be gracious.
After all, I'm know I'm not going to get rid of this show. You're putting it on after White Collar. You know as well as I do that Lazy Americans would rather sit through crap than shift their couch potato butts far enough to dig the remote from between the cushions and change the channel.
But I'm on to you!
Sincerely,
Nerd 1...or 2.
Back when you started running the first ads for your new summer show Covert Affairs I raised one perfectly waxed eyebrow (I am licensed, you know) and judged you. With a roster that includes Psych, Burn Notice, Royal Pains and White Collar, you've raised the bar on awesome so high that you're due for a fail and based on those first ads Covert Affairs certainly looked like it would fit the bill. I had no interest in watching.
Then, much to my non-surprise, the ads started changing. They got less silly and more actiony. They showed off other characters besides That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago and That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy. We saw Peter Gallagher, aka The EyeBrows and Christopher Gorham who must have done something cool once because ew.com follows him on Twitter. You realized that you'd made That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago look so woefully inept in the first ads nobody would ever believe the CIA would hire her. Now she's all ass-kicky and even somewhat sexy - which is difficult for someone with a mildly horsey face. All in all, USA, you managed to make me doubt my initial assessment. I was ready to give your show a shot.
Then I read this...The Futon's First Look: Covert Affairs.
In a nutshell, I WAS RIGHT! "Covert Affairs" is by far the weakest pilot to come from USA in recent memory. Ha, USA! Ha! You tried to pull the wool over my eyes, but I have 20/20 vision! I am not so easily fooled by Horsey Faced Girl's tight skirts or That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy's nekkidness in the shower scene. My eyebrows are not giant caterpillars that have taken over my face and obscure my eyesight ala Sandy Cohen! I see right through you! You're walking that fine line between breakout hit and epic fail.
Now, USA, I want to move on from this disconcerting moment in our relationship. I am willing to give your show a chance. After all, you are still you and put out the awesome dramedy like FX puts out the awesome violence (Woot, Justified and SOA!), so perhaps on our second date, Covert Affairs, will not wear white after Labor Day, will remember to use the salad fork and pass the salt and pepper together. I'm still going to ask Warehouse 13, Pretty Little Liars and reruns of 90210 to be on standby for emergency date rescuing, but I will be gracious.
After all, I'm know I'm not going to get rid of this show. You're putting it on after White Collar. You know as well as I do that Lazy Americans would rather sit through crap than shift their couch potato butts far enough to dig the remote from between the cushions and change the channel.
But I'm on to you!
Sincerely,
Nerd 1...or 2.
*knocks* Pssst...I'm here!
This is Nerd 2...or 1...or whatever. I'm the other cool nerd that's on this blog.
I've never blogged before...so I might mis step a bit. (Is "mis step" one or two words? I should know these things if I'm going to be a blogger). Anyways...I don't even know what to blog about.
Except...maybe my anger at Marvel Comics...and their completely idiotic idea to recast Bruce Banner...AGAIN. For no reason whatsoever.
Yeah, yeah, I know all the "Edward Norton doesn't want to work in an ensemble cast"-blah, "Edward Norton is difficult to work with"-blah, "New direction for the character"-blah...WHATEVER. GET. OVER. IT. The idea of creating the Marvel Universe with some of the biggest talent out there is bigger than all those petty excuses for being stupid. This is Marvel's chance to rectify the abomination that the X-Men universe became during X Men 3: The Debacle of Massive Proportions.
I was really looking forward to The Avengers...and not because I'm a fan of The Avengers. I'm not...I think they are boring. Hell...I think Captain America is the very definition of boring (look it up...he's right there next to a picture of white bread)...and who even cares about Thor? The only Thor I'm familiar with is the legendary one...and the one that appeared in "Adventures in Babysitting"...but I was excited for the movies because Marvel was about to do something that hadn't been done before.
And now they've gone and ruined it.
RUINED IT.
*shakes fist*
They need to fix this quick...and not with some ninkumpoop like Joaquin Phoenix (whom I like...but really? As Bruce Banner? RME) or John Hamm. Just because John Hamm looks good in 50s garb (is it 50s? I don't watch Mad Men...30s maybe? Whatever) doesn't mean that he's going to be a good Bruce. I'm not going to believe that anyone built like John Hamm is some nerd that you aren't going to like when he gets angry.
I mean...seriously.
It's like this BS that they are doing with recasting Spiderman. Tobey was that role for 3 goddamn movies...and sure, the 3rd one was kinda out there...but...he's a flying spider man. Gimme a break. Venom could have used a little more to do...but still. There's no reason to go recasting a movie that only had it's 3rd one like...6 years ago. Give it some time...like they did with Batman. *points* Look at how awesome those movies turned out! Take a cue, Marvel...and shelve this recast crap, and use some of that money to woo back Edward!
Look how awesomely I brought my digression back on topic. I'm awesome.
And besides...Edward was excited to be in the movie. I read interviews! I'm pretty sure I read somewhere at sometime that he was even okay with being the villain! HE'S OKAY WITH THE HULK BEING THE VILLAIN!!!
What more do you want, Marvel? Curse you.
I hope The Avengers fails.
I know that it won't...but I hope it does.
I hope X-Men: The New Class (which sounds like it's something that should be on right after reruns of Saved By The Bell) kicks copious amounts of ass.
And I think it will...b/c Fox learned from it's mistake and brought back Bryan Singer.
Fox can be taught! Why can't Marvel?!
...this blog was a bit longer than intended.
Woops...sorry about that.
Well...I'm not really. I find things to rant about a few times a day...so maybe this blog will be good for my blood pressure.
Not that I have problems with my blood pressure...but I could.
Anyways...bye.
Nerd2...or 1...or whatever.
*Update...I have been informed by my other half that Mad Men takes place in the 60s. I told her I don't care...but...yeah. Pretend I said "60's garb"...Thank you, and goodnight.
I've never blogged before...so I might mis step a bit. (Is "mis step" one or two words? I should know these things if I'm going to be a blogger). Anyways...I don't even know what to blog about.
Except...maybe my anger at Marvel Comics...and their completely idiotic idea to recast Bruce Banner...AGAIN. For no reason whatsoever.
Yeah, yeah, I know all the "Edward Norton doesn't want to work in an ensemble cast"-blah, "Edward Norton is difficult to work with"-blah, "New direction for the character"-blah...WHATEVER. GET. OVER. IT. The idea of creating the Marvel Universe with some of the biggest talent out there is bigger than all those petty excuses for being stupid. This is Marvel's chance to rectify the abomination that the X-Men universe became during X Men 3: The Debacle of Massive Proportions.
I was really looking forward to The Avengers...and not because I'm a fan of The Avengers. I'm not...I think they are boring. Hell...I think Captain America is the very definition of boring (look it up...he's right there next to a picture of white bread)...and who even cares about Thor? The only Thor I'm familiar with is the legendary one...and the one that appeared in "Adventures in Babysitting"...but I was excited for the movies because Marvel was about to do something that hadn't been done before.
And now they've gone and ruined it.
RUINED IT.
*shakes fist*
They need to fix this quick...and not with some ninkumpoop like Joaquin Phoenix (whom I like...but really? As Bruce Banner? RME) or John Hamm. Just because John Hamm looks good in 50s garb (is it 50s? I don't watch Mad Men...30s maybe? Whatever) doesn't mean that he's going to be a good Bruce. I'm not going to believe that anyone built like John Hamm is some nerd that you aren't going to like when he gets angry.
I mean...seriously.
It's like this BS that they are doing with recasting Spiderman. Tobey was that role for 3 goddamn movies...and sure, the 3rd one was kinda out there...but...he's a flying spider man. Gimme a break. Venom could have used a little more to do...but still. There's no reason to go recasting a movie that only had it's 3rd one like...6 years ago. Give it some time...like they did with Batman. *points* Look at how awesome those movies turned out! Take a cue, Marvel...and shelve this recast crap, and use some of that money to woo back Edward!
Look how awesomely I brought my digression back on topic. I'm awesome.
And besides...Edward was excited to be in the movie. I read interviews! I'm pretty sure I read somewhere at sometime that he was even okay with being the villain! HE'S OKAY WITH THE HULK BEING THE VILLAIN!!!
What more do you want, Marvel? Curse you.
I hope The Avengers fails.
I know that it won't...but I hope it does.
I hope X-Men: The New Class (which sounds like it's something that should be on right after reruns of Saved By The Bell) kicks copious amounts of ass.
And I think it will...b/c Fox learned from it's mistake and brought back Bryan Singer.
Fox can be taught! Why can't Marvel?!
...this blog was a bit longer than intended.
Woops...sorry about that.
Well...I'm not really. I find things to rant about a few times a day...so maybe this blog will be good for my blood pressure.
Not that I have problems with my blood pressure...but I could.
Anyways...bye.
Nerd2...or 1...or whatever.
*Update...I have been informed by my other half that Mad Men takes place in the 60s. I told her I don't care...but...yeah. Pretend I said "60's garb"...Thank you, and goodnight.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Go ahead. Hold your breath...
A blog full of nothing. And everything. And whatever falls in between. Brought to you by the self proclaimed coolest (and smartest) nerds in the 'verse.
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