Ya know...I'm getting reallll tired of this whole "3D is the bananas...don't you want to see everything in 3D? Don't you? Don't you?! DON'T YOU?!"
No...no I don't.
Look...I know 3D is awesome when you watch some movies. I saw Avatar in 3D...it was great.
Granted...I saw it in 2D before--and what's with this bullshit calling it 2D? When did we start calling it 2D? I remember a time when the announcer would just say...'Coming to you in blah blah blah year/month/tomorrow'...now it's all 'Coming to you in 3D...and 2D for you losers who don't want to pay the needlessly outrageous amount to see a movie in 3D!' Granted, I added that losers part...but that's because I can read subtext. And there's definitely subtext in that statement, the bastards. I know what they think of us 2D-watching people. They think we're cheap. And you know what? I am. You know why? Because I remember when a movie in "2D" was just called a goddamn movie. And yes, that statement of "I remember when..." makes it sound like I was born in 1844...but I wasn't...and seriously...it was like, 4 months ago. Seriously--but I didn't get anything super special out of seeing it again in 3D.
I didn't bother to see Clash of the Titans in 3D...mainly because I heard it sucked and they completely changed the Greek myth for some stupid reason that made no sense...but also...b/c I heard the 3D sucked and made everyone look mushy.
I saw The Last Airbender in 3D...and literally got nothing out of it...and I enjoyed the movie.
I think I saw My Bloody Valentine in 3D...and that's because the other Nerd dragged me...but besides scythes jumping out at my face and fake blood splattering on the screen...*shrug* Whatever.
And you know what...fine. I like movies...and I, like the rest of my generation, wants the biggest and bestest of everything. And if that's seeing a 3D movie every once and awhile...fine. Step Up 3D was the shizznit. So, yeah, I'll shell out the hugely overrated amounts of money to see a movie like that in the theater. Especially if they are only offering it in 3D (Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader...I'm looking disgustedly at you).
I draw the line, however...at this notion that I want a 3D television in my home. That's right...I said "television"...because I'm of the generation that didn't abbreviate everything (Of course, spelling out "television" takes huge amounts of time, so I'm going to say TV from now on).
I know they are marketing 3D TV's as "the next wave in home theater"...but really? Does one really need to feel like they are right there when watching a sports game on TV? If one wanted to be right there at said sports game...wouldn't one just shell out the money to actually...I don't know...be there at said sports game? Does one really need to feel as if, if they were just a little bit closer, said sports figure could sweat on them?
Other people's sweat is gross, folks.
After one sees a 3D movie in the theater, and you decide that it's worth shelling out the rediculous amount of money to see it on Blu-Ray (don't even get me started on Blu-Ray. If I wanted to see the pores in the stars face...they wouldn't need to wear makeup, now would they? And if I wanted to see the 1000th person off to the right clear as if he were standing in the front...he'd be called the protagonist of the film, now wouldn't he?)...does one really feel the overwhelming desire to go home, put on a rediculous pair of glasses that flatter absolutely no one, just to see a movie in 3D that one has already seen so they can feel like they are right there in the movie?
Did one feel like they were right there in the movie when they saw it in the theater? If no...why would you want to try to feel like that in your own home? If yes...why is one lowering oneself to buy it to watch on your dinky home TV?
You want to feel like you're right there...become an actor...and go act in a movie.
Its kind of like the Gene Wilder version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and the lickable wallpaper. Cool...for about 15 seconds...right before you roll your eyes and go...really? What's the use of that?
If I wanted something to taste like a snoggs-berry...I'd just go get a snoggs-berry...not something that's faking a snoggs-berry.
And why would one want to sit in the privacy of their own home, in front of their 60 inch TV, surround-sound home theater...lean back, put on a pair of tacky, ugly glasses, and pretend that they aren't Corey Hart while they watch a movie they've already seen?
I can't possibly be the only one who has no desire to invite a bunch of my closest friends over, hand them a pair of stupid 3D glasses, and say "See! That ball almost kinda flew out right at your face! It's like you're right there!".
I refuse to believe that I'm the only person who finds the whole idea rediculous.
Nerd .5
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda...
One of the most thought provoking ideas I've ever heard came from Jurrasic Park. I don't remember the exact phrasing, but the gist is just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Two cases in point:
Just because as a state of the U.S. you can protect your borders doesn't mean you should pass a law that can only be enforced with racial profiling. I'm looking at you, Arizona.
On a lighter note, just because you can use a popular Top 40 hit during a badly made company video presentation, doesn't mean you should pick a song that is wildly inappropriate like Kings of Leon's Use Somebody. I mean seriously. An angsty love song for a corporate congratulatory luncheon? Not to mention the predominate lyric being 'use somebody' which I don't really think is the message they want to send in the insurance world. At least not publicly.
Talk about WTFery.
Just because as a state of the U.S. you can protect your borders doesn't mean you should pass a law that can only be enforced with racial profiling. I'm looking at you, Arizona.
On a lighter note, just because you can use a popular Top 40 hit during a badly made company video presentation, doesn't mean you should pick a song that is wildly inappropriate like Kings of Leon's Use Somebody. I mean seriously. An angsty love song for a corporate congratulatory luncheon? Not to mention the predominate lyric being 'use somebody' which I don't really think is the message they want to send in the insurance world. At least not publicly.
Talk about WTFery.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Curse you, Charlie St. Cloud.
Ya know...I've always prided myself on having a cold, dead, black, evil heart.
I laugh when people trip, fall, make fools of themselves when they think no one is looking...I laugh at things that most people would find INCREDIBLY politically incorrect. I find myself becoming less and less interested in the oil spill ravaging Louisiana (since, hell, we brought this on ourselves, and there's nothing I can do about it besides boycott BP--which I'm doing--and wait till this mess gets cleaned up. Sooner rather than later...but I have a feeling it'll be later), I roll my eyes when people start talking about their personal trajedies (right before I start looking for the nearest exit). I'm certainly no bleeding heart.
I hate with the passion of a dying sun any and all RomComs, any uplifting dramas where the underdog triumphs over The Big Bad Man. Granted, I'll watch the occasional romance (I was dragged to see The Notebook, and enjoyed it up until it became a movie about old people with alzheimers) but I don't particularly like them. I don't seek out movies that will make me feel anything but the rush that comes from seeing something explode violently.
Those are the movies that I want to see...those are the movies that I look forward to. Is there violence? Sign me up. Do tons of people die in horrific ways? I'm there. Are there explosions? Weee...can't wait!
Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a fan of horror films...there's a marked difference between violence and grotesquery. I don't watch horror films...they aren't how I like to take my violence.
And...I'll watch other movies. I'll rent them, buy them...whatever. But if I'm going to pay for a movie in the theater...it better be violent. Have a little romance thrown in...a little comedy...lots of action...but mostly? Violence. Plot not necessarily needed.
I like good, clean, fun explosive violence.
Soo...imagine my surprise when watching TV one day...I saw a trailer for the movie Charlie St. Cloud.
I was stunned....and there was some weird movement in my chest area.
I was sure it was either indigestion...or...possibly nausea.
This weird liquid started welling in my eyes.
I sniffled.
WTH?!
I realized with dawning horror...that I wanted to see this movie.
....
Obviously...something had gone horribly wrong...and I quickly went to Wiki to see if my subconscious had picked up some violence that my eyes hadn't seen.
Nothing. It's a movie about a guy coming to grips with losing his brother in a horrific car accident.
No violence. No explosions...just...a fucking character study?
Maybe it's the clever use of the song "Airplanes" from the trailer (I do so love that song), maybe it's b/c there's a hint of a supernatural element (I do so love the supernatural), maybe it's b/c Zac Efron had a bit part playing Simon Tam in Firefly (and I do so love Firefly)...I don't know.
But whatever it was...it made me want to see this movie.
My cold, dead, black heart...was actually moved by this trailer.
I was moved enough that I actually want to see this movie.
Charlie St. Cloud.
It's disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself...I can't believe it!
A 30 second TV spot with a song that I currently like and a kid that I can take or leave as the star, made me want to see some sappy, romance about a guy who lost his brother...but is still able to play baseball with him.
It's gross.
But I'm going to see it.
So...Curse you, Charlie St. Cloud.
Curse you all to hell.
Nerd .5
I laugh when people trip, fall, make fools of themselves when they think no one is looking...I laugh at things that most people would find INCREDIBLY politically incorrect. I find myself becoming less and less interested in the oil spill ravaging Louisiana (since, hell, we brought this on ourselves, and there's nothing I can do about it besides boycott BP--which I'm doing--and wait till this mess gets cleaned up. Sooner rather than later...but I have a feeling it'll be later), I roll my eyes when people start talking about their personal trajedies (right before I start looking for the nearest exit). I'm certainly no bleeding heart.
I hate with the passion of a dying sun any and all RomComs, any uplifting dramas where the underdog triumphs over The Big Bad Man. Granted, I'll watch the occasional romance (I was dragged to see The Notebook, and enjoyed it up until it became a movie about old people with alzheimers) but I don't particularly like them. I don't seek out movies that will make me feel anything but the rush that comes from seeing something explode violently.
Those are the movies that I want to see...those are the movies that I look forward to. Is there violence? Sign me up. Do tons of people die in horrific ways? I'm there. Are there explosions? Weee...can't wait!
Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a fan of horror films...there's a marked difference between violence and grotesquery. I don't watch horror films...they aren't how I like to take my violence.
And...I'll watch other movies. I'll rent them, buy them...whatever. But if I'm going to pay for a movie in the theater...it better be violent. Have a little romance thrown in...a little comedy...lots of action...but mostly? Violence. Plot not necessarily needed.
I like good, clean, fun explosive violence.
Soo...imagine my surprise when watching TV one day...I saw a trailer for the movie Charlie St. Cloud.
I was stunned....and there was some weird movement in my chest area.
I was sure it was either indigestion...or...possibly nausea.
This weird liquid started welling in my eyes.
I sniffled.
WTH?!
I realized with dawning horror...that I wanted to see this movie.
....
Obviously...something had gone horribly wrong...and I quickly went to Wiki to see if my subconscious had picked up some violence that my eyes hadn't seen.
Nothing. It's a movie about a guy coming to grips with losing his brother in a horrific car accident.
No violence. No explosions...just...a fucking character study?
Maybe it's the clever use of the song "Airplanes" from the trailer (I do so love that song), maybe it's b/c there's a hint of a supernatural element (I do so love the supernatural), maybe it's b/c Zac Efron had a bit part playing Simon Tam in Firefly (and I do so love Firefly)...I don't know.
But whatever it was...it made me want to see this movie.
My cold, dead, black heart...was actually moved by this trailer.
I was moved enough that I actually want to see this movie.
Charlie St. Cloud.
It's disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself...I can't believe it!
A 30 second TV spot with a song that I currently like and a kid that I can take or leave as the star, made me want to see some sappy, romance about a guy who lost his brother...but is still able to play baseball with him.
It's gross.
But I'm going to see it.
So...Curse you, Charlie St. Cloud.
Curse you all to hell.
Nerd .5
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I knew it! I KNEW it!
Dear USA,
Back when you started running the first ads for your new summer show Covert Affairs I raised one perfectly waxed eyebrow (I am licensed, you know) and judged you. With a roster that includes Psych, Burn Notice, Royal Pains and White Collar, you've raised the bar on awesome so high that you're due for a fail and based on those first ads Covert Affairs certainly looked like it would fit the bill. I had no interest in watching.
Then, much to my non-surprise, the ads started changing. They got less silly and more actiony. They showed off other characters besides That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago and That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy. We saw Peter Gallagher, aka The EyeBrows and Christopher Gorham who must have done something cool once because ew.com follows him on Twitter. You realized that you'd made That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago look so woefully inept in the first ads nobody would ever believe the CIA would hire her. Now she's all ass-kicky and even somewhat sexy - which is difficult for someone with a mildly horsey face. All in all, USA, you managed to make me doubt my initial assessment. I was ready to give your show a shot.
Then I read this...The Futon's First Look: Covert Affairs.
In a nutshell, I WAS RIGHT! "Covert Affairs" is by far the weakest pilot to come from USA in recent memory. Ha, USA! Ha! You tried to pull the wool over my eyes, but I have 20/20 vision! I am not so easily fooled by Horsey Faced Girl's tight skirts or That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy's nekkidness in the shower scene. My eyebrows are not giant caterpillars that have taken over my face and obscure my eyesight ala Sandy Cohen! I see right through you! You're walking that fine line between breakout hit and epic fail.
Now, USA, I want to move on from this disconcerting moment in our relationship. I am willing to give your show a chance. After all, you are still you and put out the awesome dramedy like FX puts out the awesome violence (Woot, Justified and SOA!), so perhaps on our second date, Covert Affairs, will not wear white after Labor Day, will remember to use the salad fork and pass the salt and pepper together. I'm still going to ask Warehouse 13, Pretty Little Liars and reruns of 90210 to be on standby for emergency date rescuing, but I will be gracious.
After all, I'm know I'm not going to get rid of this show. You're putting it on after White Collar. You know as well as I do that Lazy Americans would rather sit through crap than shift their couch potato butts far enough to dig the remote from between the cushions and change the channel.
But I'm on to you!
Sincerely,
Nerd 1...or 2.
Back when you started running the first ads for your new summer show Covert Affairs I raised one perfectly waxed eyebrow (I am licensed, you know) and judged you. With a roster that includes Psych, Burn Notice, Royal Pains and White Collar, you've raised the bar on awesome so high that you're due for a fail and based on those first ads Covert Affairs certainly looked like it would fit the bill. I had no interest in watching.
Then, much to my non-surprise, the ads started changing. They got less silly and more actiony. They showed off other characters besides That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago and That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy. We saw Peter Gallagher, aka The EyeBrows and Christopher Gorham who must have done something cool once because ew.com follows him on Twitter. You realized that you'd made That Chick Who Danced On A Bar 10 Years Ago look so woefully inept in the first ads nobody would ever believe the CIA would hire her. Now she's all ass-kicky and even somewhat sexy - which is difficult for someone with a mildly horsey face. All in all, USA, you managed to make me doubt my initial assessment. I was ready to give your show a shot.
Then I read this...The Futon's First Look: Covert Affairs.
In a nutshell, I WAS RIGHT! "Covert Affairs" is by far the weakest pilot to come from USA in recent memory. Ha, USA! Ha! You tried to pull the wool over my eyes, but I have 20/20 vision! I am not so easily fooled by Horsey Faced Girl's tight skirts or That Dude From The Mummy Movies Who Wasn't The Mummy's nekkidness in the shower scene. My eyebrows are not giant caterpillars that have taken over my face and obscure my eyesight ala Sandy Cohen! I see right through you! You're walking that fine line between breakout hit and epic fail.
Now, USA, I want to move on from this disconcerting moment in our relationship. I am willing to give your show a chance. After all, you are still you and put out the awesome dramedy like FX puts out the awesome violence (Woot, Justified and SOA!), so perhaps on our second date, Covert Affairs, will not wear white after Labor Day, will remember to use the salad fork and pass the salt and pepper together. I'm still going to ask Warehouse 13, Pretty Little Liars and reruns of 90210 to be on standby for emergency date rescuing, but I will be gracious.
After all, I'm know I'm not going to get rid of this show. You're putting it on after White Collar. You know as well as I do that Lazy Americans would rather sit through crap than shift their couch potato butts far enough to dig the remote from between the cushions and change the channel.
But I'm on to you!
Sincerely,
Nerd 1...or 2.
*knocks* Pssst...I'm here!
This is Nerd 2...or 1...or whatever. I'm the other cool nerd that's on this blog.
I've never blogged before...so I might mis step a bit. (Is "mis step" one or two words? I should know these things if I'm going to be a blogger). Anyways...I don't even know what to blog about.
Except...maybe my anger at Marvel Comics...and their completely idiotic idea to recast Bruce Banner...AGAIN. For no reason whatsoever.
Yeah, yeah, I know all the "Edward Norton doesn't want to work in an ensemble cast"-blah, "Edward Norton is difficult to work with"-blah, "New direction for the character"-blah...WHATEVER. GET. OVER. IT. The idea of creating the Marvel Universe with some of the biggest talent out there is bigger than all those petty excuses for being stupid. This is Marvel's chance to rectify the abomination that the X-Men universe became during X Men 3: The Debacle of Massive Proportions.
I was really looking forward to The Avengers...and not because I'm a fan of The Avengers. I'm not...I think they are boring. Hell...I think Captain America is the very definition of boring (look it up...he's right there next to a picture of white bread)...and who even cares about Thor? The only Thor I'm familiar with is the legendary one...and the one that appeared in "Adventures in Babysitting"...but I was excited for the movies because Marvel was about to do something that hadn't been done before.
And now they've gone and ruined it.
RUINED IT.
*shakes fist*
They need to fix this quick...and not with some ninkumpoop like Joaquin Phoenix (whom I like...but really? As Bruce Banner? RME) or John Hamm. Just because John Hamm looks good in 50s garb (is it 50s? I don't watch Mad Men...30s maybe? Whatever) doesn't mean that he's going to be a good Bruce. I'm not going to believe that anyone built like John Hamm is some nerd that you aren't going to like when he gets angry.
I mean...seriously.
It's like this BS that they are doing with recasting Spiderman. Tobey was that role for 3 goddamn movies...and sure, the 3rd one was kinda out there...but...he's a flying spider man. Gimme a break. Venom could have used a little more to do...but still. There's no reason to go recasting a movie that only had it's 3rd one like...6 years ago. Give it some time...like they did with Batman. *points* Look at how awesome those movies turned out! Take a cue, Marvel...and shelve this recast crap, and use some of that money to woo back Edward!
Look how awesomely I brought my digression back on topic. I'm awesome.
And besides...Edward was excited to be in the movie. I read interviews! I'm pretty sure I read somewhere at sometime that he was even okay with being the villain! HE'S OKAY WITH THE HULK BEING THE VILLAIN!!!
What more do you want, Marvel? Curse you.
I hope The Avengers fails.
I know that it won't...but I hope it does.
I hope X-Men: The New Class (which sounds like it's something that should be on right after reruns of Saved By The Bell) kicks copious amounts of ass.
And I think it will...b/c Fox learned from it's mistake and brought back Bryan Singer.
Fox can be taught! Why can't Marvel?!
...this blog was a bit longer than intended.
Woops...sorry about that.
Well...I'm not really. I find things to rant about a few times a day...so maybe this blog will be good for my blood pressure.
Not that I have problems with my blood pressure...but I could.
Anyways...bye.
Nerd2...or 1...or whatever.
*Update...I have been informed by my other half that Mad Men takes place in the 60s. I told her I don't care...but...yeah. Pretend I said "60's garb"...Thank you, and goodnight.
I've never blogged before...so I might mis step a bit. (Is "mis step" one or two words? I should know these things if I'm going to be a blogger). Anyways...I don't even know what to blog about.
Except...maybe my anger at Marvel Comics...and their completely idiotic idea to recast Bruce Banner...AGAIN. For no reason whatsoever.
Yeah, yeah, I know all the "Edward Norton doesn't want to work in an ensemble cast"-blah, "Edward Norton is difficult to work with"-blah, "New direction for the character"-blah...WHATEVER. GET. OVER. IT. The idea of creating the Marvel Universe with some of the biggest talent out there is bigger than all those petty excuses for being stupid. This is Marvel's chance to rectify the abomination that the X-Men universe became during X Men 3: The Debacle of Massive Proportions.
I was really looking forward to The Avengers...and not because I'm a fan of The Avengers. I'm not...I think they are boring. Hell...I think Captain America is the very definition of boring (look it up...he's right there next to a picture of white bread)...and who even cares about Thor? The only Thor I'm familiar with is the legendary one...and the one that appeared in "Adventures in Babysitting"...but I was excited for the movies because Marvel was about to do something that hadn't been done before.
And now they've gone and ruined it.
RUINED IT.
*shakes fist*
They need to fix this quick...and not with some ninkumpoop like Joaquin Phoenix (whom I like...but really? As Bruce Banner? RME) or John Hamm. Just because John Hamm looks good in 50s garb (is it 50s? I don't watch Mad Men...30s maybe? Whatever) doesn't mean that he's going to be a good Bruce. I'm not going to believe that anyone built like John Hamm is some nerd that you aren't going to like when he gets angry.
I mean...seriously.
It's like this BS that they are doing with recasting Spiderman. Tobey was that role for 3 goddamn movies...and sure, the 3rd one was kinda out there...but...he's a flying spider man. Gimme a break. Venom could have used a little more to do...but still. There's no reason to go recasting a movie that only had it's 3rd one like...6 years ago. Give it some time...like they did with Batman. *points* Look at how awesome those movies turned out! Take a cue, Marvel...and shelve this recast crap, and use some of that money to woo back Edward!
Look how awesomely I brought my digression back on topic. I'm awesome.
And besides...Edward was excited to be in the movie. I read interviews! I'm pretty sure I read somewhere at sometime that he was even okay with being the villain! HE'S OKAY WITH THE HULK BEING THE VILLAIN!!!
What more do you want, Marvel? Curse you.
I hope The Avengers fails.
I know that it won't...but I hope it does.
I hope X-Men: The New Class (which sounds like it's something that should be on right after reruns of Saved By The Bell) kicks copious amounts of ass.
And I think it will...b/c Fox learned from it's mistake and brought back Bryan Singer.
Fox can be taught! Why can't Marvel?!
...this blog was a bit longer than intended.
Woops...sorry about that.
Well...I'm not really. I find things to rant about a few times a day...so maybe this blog will be good for my blood pressure.
Not that I have problems with my blood pressure...but I could.
Anyways...bye.
Nerd2...or 1...or whatever.
*Update...I have been informed by my other half that Mad Men takes place in the 60s. I told her I don't care...but...yeah. Pretend I said "60's garb"...Thank you, and goodnight.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Go ahead. Hold your breath...
A blog full of nothing. And everything. And whatever falls in between. Brought to you by the self proclaimed coolest (and smartest) nerds in the 'verse.
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